Does it feel like you are constantly on your daughter’s case about getting to practice on time, taking those extra swings, or working hard outside of their team practices?

She signed up for this commitment, and you feel like YOU’RE the bad guy for trying to motivate her to follow through. You know she can be good, but just doesn’t have that drive to do what it takes to stand out.

You don’t want to be pushy about it either and scare her away even more. I totally get it.

Believe it or not – I wasn’t a very good ball player until I was about 13 or 14 years old. My Dad used to constantly be on my case about working out, taking more swings, and practicing more and I absolutely used to give him the ‘teenager sass’ right back to him every. single. time. 

My Dad was a go getter, he started two small businesses from scratch with nothing to his name at the time, and is a true self made man. He used to (and still does) get up at 5am almost every day to get to the gym, go to work, and come home in time to take me to whatever games or practices I had that day without a single complaint, ever. If you’ve met him or heard my other stories about him, you all know he’s driven (and a little nuts lol). I say that with the most love though – because he taught me what it was like to work hard and have a parent who supported your dreams no matter what. 

He continuously told me that I’d have to work for it if I wanted something, and results don’t come without the work. Watching him as I grew up, he was the true definition of that.

So trust me I know what you mean when you think you’re being a ‘nagging parent.’

Maybe at the time, I thought he was nagging, but looking back I now know he wasn’t. My Dad just KNEW what I was capable of, and reminded me of that when I needed to hear it. Being a teenager I thought EVERYTHING was annoying. Parents – I know you know this is true. We teenagers think we know everything, but we lack the self awareness at the time to REALLY know what’s best for us.

Early on, I remember a few times he TOLD ME to go take some swings in the backyard. LOL did that go over well. Not sure if TELLING a teenager to do anything is going to get them to do anything. I basically shrugged him off and didn’t think twice about watching another episode of TV instead. 

After that, he always offered to go outside and set up the tee, drive me to the cages, or go to the gym WITH ME. At that age, sometimes the idea of putting in the extra work by yourself can be overwhelming and miserable, but the thought of doing it WITH someone just makes it a little more bearable. 

He would always tell me ‘I’ll be outside if you want to take some swings today,’ or ‘You know you always hit better when you practice before your games, let me know if you want to go to the cages first and we’ll go.’ and eventually I started thinking that way too. 

No matter how many times I gave him that ‘teenager sass’ when he asked if I wanted to workout or suggested that I take extra swings, he would be there for me when I finally decided to do the extra work (AFTER whatever TV episode I was watching ended of course).

There was a day that finally the lightbulb clicked for ME. When I took swings BEFORE my games in the backyard, I would hit 2-3 or 3-3 without fail. The games that I skipped the extra cuts, were the games I went 0-3 or 1-3. The results spoke for themselves, and of course, my dad had been telling me this all along, that when I put in the work, the results would come.

My Dad’s lightbulb was and had been shining all along, but once that lightbulb went off for ME, that’s when I FINALLY started WANTING to put in the extra effort and work.

I was the one asking my dad to go to extra practices and go to the cages instead of HIM asking ME. I was the one who wanted to get up at 5am and go to the gym with him, rather than sleep in. I realized that the work I was putting in OFF the field and in the weight room really was making a difference. 

There’s always a turning point for most girls. For me, that happened around 13 or 14 years old.  Keep offering to ‘take her to the cages, setup the tee for her, or sign her up for extra practices,’ but don’t push it. Let her guide you. My dad used to do that for me, and of course, there were times that I was lazy and didn’t take advantage, but after realizing FOR MYSELF that I wasn’t a naturally gifted softball player, I knew I needed those extra reps to be good. 

Looking back, it’s crazy to think that the girls who were absolute studs on the diamond at 10u and 12u usually just never got any better… Maybe that’s because it came easily to them and they never had to work at it? Throughout my playing career, I have seen those ‘underdog players’ outpace those naturally gifted players over and over again. Don’t discount the underdog players at the early ages. Trust me, I know, since I was that underdog.

And as a coach I’ve also witnessed it, the girls who struggle and have to work the most at the younger ages, the ones WHO DON’T GIVE UP, almost always are the best players when they develop. 

And a big shoutout to ALL of my underdogs I have coached throughout the years, you proved EVERYONE wrong and I am SO PROUD OF YOU. 

Keep supporting your daughter no matter the sass she gives you (trust me she’ll grow out of it eventually). 

Just keep reminding her that SHE IS CAPABLE OF WHATEVER SHE PUTS HER MIND TO. I promise that theme will carry with her throughout her life, much further than just her time on the diamond. 

Whether that dream is softball, knitting, or theater, the ball is in HER glove.